Demisexuality and Mental Health, related.

1. How has being on the ace spectrum impacted your mental health?

Remaining sexually inactive was a badge of shame. Especially after graduating from high school, and then college. It was one of the insecurities I’ve wrestled with in my adolescence.

Realising there was such a thing as a group of people who don’t or rarely want to have sex was a boost of confidence to me in a time when I was trying to figure out an erratic sexuality that seemed to obey an odd set of rules.

I think for me, most of all, my mental health – or rather, my emotional health – impacted my place on the ace spectrum. At a time when I was depressed, I had no sexual drive. Now that I feel good about myself and the world, I have a low sexual drive.

Being demisexual means having a libido that’s essentially a hitchhiker that cheerily rides along with emotional attachment. The deeper the bonds you create with non-family members, the more likely you are to find someone you both love and want to have sex with… or trust enough to desire.