Demisexual and Proud
I’ve always identified with Charles Xavier over Erik Lehnsherr except on one point, Mystique. I could not help but agree that Raven was far better off and more attractive in blue skin and red hair than in her blonde guise. Why? Because it was her true self, her power, her soul on full display, and that was far, far more attractive than any amount of curves and golden locks. In that moment, Erik too, was attractive, because he saw through the mask to the heart of Raven and liked it. I couldn’t decide who I wanted to be, the one to tell Raven she was a beautiful mutant, or the one Erik truly saw for who she was.
This is, in short, what it’s like to love and be loved, to lust and feel attractive, as a demisexual. You will know a person before you start desiring them, and you cannot understand another’s desire until it is accompanied by some mix of trust, affection and admiration.
And the holy grail of attraction is a person in full, body and soul, sex and emotion and mind united.
This blog is about sexuality and demisexuality in particular, but ultimately about self-acceptance.