Nashville Statement in the Netherlands

TW: religion and queerphobia and this is honestly a rant.

I’ve been avoiding the news… and never feeling quite so stupid over it as right now. Reason being I can’t decide if my Carnival post was accidentally relevant or really stupid and hurtful considering what’s been going on. I’ve seriously thought about withdrawing it because, goddamn it, I am so, so ashamed and angry and frustrated.

So… I want to keep this as general as possible. A group of conservative Christians, give them what title you will in the context that makes sense to you, summarised their stance against anything queer, including but not limited to: homosexuality, transgender folks, extramarital sex and Attacks on the Institutions of Holy Matrimony. This manifesto is called the Nashville Statement. Please don’t read it if you want to have a good day.

The relevant fact here is that it was translated into Dutch and then signed by several hundred pastors and other orthodox-protestant men (that’s what we’re calling them in Dutch, apparently) after they got approached about it. Including Christian politicians, scholars and pastors (from my own denomination as well). This created a lot of backlash and debate and the media ate it up.

I was living under a rock.

Someone pointed it out to me.

I came out from under my rock.

I realised I’d been living in fantasy land, again. Namely, that Dutch Christians are different, despite running across casual homophobia in my own church. Namely, that in my mind people from my denomination, the majority of people in my country couldn’t be like that. Surely. That I’d drawn a line that really wasn’t there.

No, asexuality isn’t explicitly mentioned, I don’t care. It made me sick anyway and it hit home because I am bloody well a Dutch queer Christian and this is bullshit.

The worst part? The part where one side of the public debate’s wondering how any sane person can be a believer (rather than an atheist) and the other side’s proclaiming nobody who doesn’t subscribe to this shit isn’t a real Christian.

Fucking well respect my religion and my orientation, I want to shout (at nobody). At home I’m either preaching to the choir or to people who don’t consider ace people queer (so they can reject the latter without rejecting me, in their mind). I just. I don’t know where to go with this grief and hate and these fucking, fucking tears and fists and screams jamming my throat.

I feel stupid, too. Why did I mentally separate the Christians in my own country from the rest of the church?

I feel like I should apologise, too, for being Christian, for writing about Christianity a lot on my blog. I feel like it’s offensive, right now, the mere mention.

To be honest, I feel dirty, so very, very soiled. And I don’t know what to properly do with that feeling either.

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About demiandproud

I am a demisexual Christian Dutchwoman who explores the vagaries of what the intersection of those identities means. On my main blog I post a few times a month, my favourite being participating in the Carnival of Aces. I'm exploring writing about my orientation elsewhere. The pride flag in my profile picture was created with 4 eye pencils (black, purple, silver and white).

Posted on January 7, 2019, in Asexuality and Christianity, What others say and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Heyyy, I grew up in a very conservative christian church/household and tbh I lost my faith and left for various reasons and it’s tough going home at times because my family are still v. christian and v. homophobic but I honestly believe the two don’t go together. Queer and Christian is a tough place to occupy because maybe nowhere feels quite like home. But maybe it’s good that you exist to prove there can be another way of being and believing that’s not sullied by hate. Maybe you can try and find other people like you? I’m from the UK and I know there are a number of churches that are queer friendly here. Maybe there are some where you are? You are not soiled and you are not your church. You are just someone trying to find their place in a confusing and divisive world. It’s hard but you can find your people I think. It just takes time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your story and the supportive comment! I felt really disillusioned but yeah… I hope you have found a good place to be yourself too. I’m finding it’s the best healer, after such an encounter.

      Like

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