Unstraightening My Facts: mono- and poly-, -amory, -gamy, -andry and -gyny


See comments for good reading suggestions.

About demiandproud

I am a demisexual Christian Dutchwoman who explores the vagaries of what the intersection of those identities means. On my main blog I post a few times a month, my favourite being participating in the Carnival of Aces. I'm exploring writing about my orientation elsewhere. The pride flag in my profile picture was created with 4 eye pencils (black, purple, silver and white).

Posted on August 20, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You’ve got your definitions slightly off. Polygamy is having more than one spouse at a time. PolyGYNY is having more than one female partner at a time and is the counterpart to polyandry (having more than one male partner at a time). Polygamy is often used synonymously with polygyny, but it’s not the same. Polygyny and polyandry TECHNICALLY don’t have to be heterosexual, but they are usually used that way.

    Also, monoamory is definitely a word I’ve seen before, and there are a ton of aces writing about being poly and ace. The first one that comes to mind is Sciatrix, who’s in a queerplatonic triad and married one of her partners a year and a half ago, but there are a lot of others. Southpaw is also poly and has written and vlogged about being poly. metapianycist is also in a triad and was married to their partners last year. Eponine has written several pieces about being poly. There was a whole Carnival of Aces on non-traditional relationship styles and poly: https://pianycist.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/january-2013-carnival-of-aces-roundup/

    Also…the whole idea of women being asexual is actually a pretty recent idea in the history of sexuality. I’d really recommend doing some more reading on the topic before making sweeping historical claims. There was a period not to long ago (within the past 100-200 years) where women in the West were expected to embody many of the traits we now associate with men–uncontrollable sexual urges, extremely high libido, forcing themselves onto poor men, who weren’t anywhere near as interested in sex as they were, etc. There was a really good article on this topic that was being passed around a while ago; I’m having trouble finding it right now, but Tristifere might know where to find it.


    • Hey Queenie, thank you so much for the numerous reading suggestions. You’re right. I really should do more research before claiming I’m less ignorant on a subject. I’m going to take this post down, but please do know your thoughtful and in-depth comment is appreciated.


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That Weird Ace Woman

Another angry Millennial internet queer

The Court of Ranternal Affairs

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