Not Just Epic Romance

So after reading Hanna White sigh over how demisexuality isn’t noble1, I feel I should add that nope, demisexuals are not just destined for epic romance. Here’s a short list of potential relationships I can see myself having as demisexual, keeping in mind that I am primarily emotionally attracted to people, rarely sexually and need a long acquaintance.

Sexual

Relationships that at some point involve sexual acts. Note these can be between two or more partners, people from the same or different genders and open or exclusive relationships.

Long-term relationship, including marriage – let’s start with the traditional one, shall we? You date long term, you fall in love, you find yourself sexually attracted to your partner, you move in, you may become engaged, marry, procreate. Congratulations.

Friends with benefits – a pool of potential sexual partners is your circle of friends. If, at some point, one becomes sexually attractive, then yes, you can totally have a fling or a casual sexual relationship with a good friend.

Inter-office romance – a second pool of potential partners are the people you see the whole day, every day. Though you like and trust colleagues on a different level, it may form a connection strong enough to spark some sexual attraction as well.

Non-sexual

Because demisexual is on the asexual spectrum, and non-sexual relationships are totally a viable option. Note these can be between two or more partners, people from the same or different genders, open or exclusive relationships.

Short-term dating – relationships that don’t last, for whatever reason, likely won’t become sexual.

Long-term romantic relationship, including marriage – because while you may become sexually attracted to your partner in the long term, you may not, and you may choose never to have sex, though it is a relationship on every other level, that may even include a permanent commitment.

Queer-platonic relationship, because you may have a significant other with whom you do not have a sexual or romantic relationship, but share a deep emotional, intellectual, sensual, companionable bond with…

So I hope I gave you something to think about. Mulling it over has certainly given me some breathing space. Look at all the possibilities! Though your orientation and preference for polyamory or monogamy will likely point you in a certain direction. If you’ve suggestions or questions, leave them in the comments!

Further reading

1. http://bitchmagazine.org/post/an-outsiders-perspective-on-sex-and-morality-in-hollywood

Advertisements

Posted on July 27, 2015, in Personal reflection, What others say and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Yes yay! I so hate how narrowly people sometimes view demisexuality!

    Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: Linkspam: July 31st, 2015 | The Asexual Agenda

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Reconstructionist

a meta-contrarian look at gender and sj

A Hat Full of Ness

Because I Have Words: Surviving Postgraduate Study in the UK

Myscape

I'm just here to write my very best

Prismatic Entanglements

dew-covered spider web of metaphorical condensed thoughts

Genderweird

An autistic, asexual, gender neutral person exploring life beyond the gender binary.

Reflective Ace

Reflections on identity and other stuff

Asexuality in A Sexual World

A blog about being asexual in a sex - saturated world

Beauty In Bundles

Reviews, beauty, random musings, oh my!

%d bloggers like this: