Does demisexuality exist? “Yes, for me” and “No, not yet.”
The question: does demisexuality, the concept, the sexuality, exist?
Dictionaries: a good way to find a new word is to look it up the old-fashioned way. It doesn’t exist in the half-dozen dictionaries I consult regularly, in either language I speak regularly. Only the Urban Dictionary has an entry.
Science (humanities): when a new term is coined, included in a new theory, its existence is possible. When it exists as a concept about which a general consensus, or at least a sizable discourse exists, its existence is plausible. I’d say that from an academic perspective, demisexuality is too new, too unexplored, to be anything more than possible. It is mentioned in several papers, or so Google Scholar says, but I don’t see it showing up as the subject, in any of the titles.
On the internet: PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN. Well, there’s video. Some personal favourites that were informative, positive and well-done:
In the blogs: A debate, is it, isn’t it? Demisexuality’s origin myth seems to be that a girl made it up for a character of hers, and it somehow ended up a respectable label in the asexual community, where most of the links now lead. “Does asexuality exist” were two out of eight Google prompts when I surfed. Informative websites for the curious-and-searching like me are:
- Demisexuality forums and articles on www.demisexuality.org
- AVEN, the asexual community where demisexuals are part of the crowd: www.asexuality.org
Good personal stories to compare yourself against:
- XO Jane on Demisexuality
- Panromantic Demisexuality, a Valentine’s Post on Love & Sex
- Demisexuals Are Real
A good article on the online discussion:
You’ll notice I didn’t link to wikipedia, or anything. That’s for you to find for yourself. Generally, I like more specific websites better, so I’m recommending those.
And yet. I never did quite have a label that fit what I felt until this… So I’m going to take the concept and run with it, and see if a more extensive exploration of what it would and wouldn’t mean in terms of sex and sexuality won’t reveal its truth. The good old-fashioned empirical way.